Maintaining Stress Free Life Balance After 50
Let’s face it, as we get older, we likely have less energy and the things we used to do with ease sometimes become a little or even a lot more difficult. Tasks that were a piece of cake when we were in our 20s, 30s, and 40s might take a bit more effort after 50 and even more effort after 60. I honestly never felt my energy waning in my 50s. Even in my early 60s, I managed to work a full-time job, teach pilates part-time, write part-time, and assist my 90+-year-old mother with doctor visits, grocery shopping, and other tasks. I did all of that and still prepared meals for my husband and myself, including my signature fruit smoothies and green drinks in the morning, and healthy, balanced dinners. On occasion, when working remotely, I might have snuck in an afternoon power nap or a refreshing outdoor walk, weather permitting. In hindsight, it’s mind boggling to think about how I juggled so much. With that in mind, I hardly seem qualified to blog about work-life balance. However, my years of keeping so many balls in the air and still finding time for travel, walks on the beach, yoga, pilates, movies, theater, and quiet evenings at home, make me as qualified as the next “guru” to address the topic. Hear me out. There are some key steps to maintain a work-work-life balance after 50.
What is Stress?
I don’t care what anyone says. No one has a stress-free life, at least no one I know personally. Depending on our life choices, reaching our 50s could actually mean less stress than in our 30s and 40s. For the many people who raised a family - by 50, kids may be out of the house, and parents still in fairly good health. Additionally, we might be at a point in our careers where we no longer have to “prove ourselves,” but have achieved some success and fulfillment. I never had children and I married late so I didn’t have child-related stress. I did have the stress associated with being single and supporting myself without any spousal or family support, all while trying to grow my career and increase my income. I had some career changes and layoffs, so there were a couple of stressful years. My family stress came much later as I reached 60+ and my 90+ year old mother began to have more and more healthcare needs. Having lost both my father and sister many years ago, I was left as the only child to take care of an aging parent, and that brought me considerable stress.
As stress ebbs and flows through our lives, it’s important to manage it wherever it occurs. Working full-time can both help and hurt. The stability of a paycheck and benefits like healthcare and paid vacation make it possible to focus on family matters. The converse is that job stress can pull us away from family and friends. We all know well that no one on his or her deathbed is ever heard saying, “I wish I had worked more.” Life is ephemeral and can change in an instant, so the best advice is to make as much time as possible for yourself and your loved ones. No one is here forever. If a job makes that impossible, it may be time to rethink your job.
I remember a time when I had gone through several work changes, reorganizations, and downsizing. I was suddenly doing twice the work for the same pay. With the continuing threat of more layoffs, there was tremendous pressure to be present, deliver results, and not make any errors. Ironically, this all occurred around the time that organizations were beginning to recognize “burnout” as a key priority, especially in the field of healthcare where the challenges of COVID and staff shortages were resulting in considerable burnout. My organization was determined to address it (although lip service and a promise of prioritizing “burnout” were not aligned with the workforce reductions that left remaining workers overloaded). At one point, my new boss asked “How are you doing with burnout?” I said I was fine, and I thought I was. Within weeks, I realized that I was completely burnt out. I had screen fatigue and could hardly bear looking at myself and my colleagues in endless Teams (equivalent to Zoom) meetings. Waking up early enough to be alert for 7:00 am meetings, and continuing to be alert for the meetings that occurred late in the day took its toll. My saving grace was my ability to step away from the computer from time to time to take a walk or a yoga class online. At the end of the day, my burnout resulted in what I can only label as extreme lethargy or, worse, boredom or depression. When work ceases to be exciting, at least for me, my work product also stops being interesting and inevitably suffers. By the time my organization had yet another workforce reduction that impacted my entire department, it was a weird kind of relief. While I stressed about income, I was at least able to acknowledge how burnt out I had become by trying to keep up the energy at work while also juggling numerous other balls in the air.
The Stress Lesson. The best lesson about balance is to recognize when you are not in balance. Unfortunately, sometimes our bodies let us know with colds, cases of flu and other illnesses, not to mention body aches and pains or headaches. It’s best not to wait until our bodies let us know it’s time to slow down. So here are the best tips I can come up with.
Managing Work-Life Balance After 50 Takes Extra Effort. As we age, it becomes increasingly more important to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Our bodies are slightly less resilient and our mental fitness may be declining. There is still time to “turn around” declining health through diet, exercise, and mental stimulation. Here are a few ideas:
Set realistic expectations. Don't try to take on too much at one time. Pace yourself. Set realistic goals; if you still work, consider scaling back. If your finances allow it, consider a 4-day work week. Most organizations will still pay full benefits for a 32-hour work week. Consider it if that’s a possibility. Be honest with yourself and realistic about possibilities.
Delegate tasks. If you have the ability (and luxury) of being able to delegate tasks, don't be afraid to do it. Taking things off of your plate will free you up to focus your time on the most important things. Consider, even, that you might delegate non-work related chores. Order in once in a while or have your spouse, partner, or paid help assist with meals, laundry, and housework.
Take breaks. Get up and move around every hour. I wore a Fitbit for years, and then an Apple watch. Both would send little vibrations to my wrist to remind me to get up and move every hour. If you can, invest in a smart watch or phone that will alert you to get out of your chair at regular intervals If you are in meetings back to back and there isn’t time for that 5-minute break, consider a treadmill or standing desk so that you aren’t seated in the same position for hours on end. Even if you work remotely for a company, take lunch breaks, walk breaks, and coffee breaks. No matter what, don’t stare at a monitor for 8-10 hours per day. Keep moving and take time during your work day to smell the proverbial flowers.
Take time for yourself. Make sure to schedule time for activities that you enjoy, whether it’s walking, traveling, dining out, exercising, or pursuing other hobbies. Getting massages, facials or other self-care treatments can act as a mini-vacation to revitalize yourself. Do it!
Say no. This may be the most important thing you can do. Don't be afraid to say no to new projects or commitments, either at work or in your personal life. It's important to protect your time and energy, because time moves more quickly as we age, and energy declines.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that the best things you can do as you age are to eat a healthy diet, get regular exercise, and get enough sleep. Sleep is terribly underrated and fundamental to maintaining health and energy. While a little indulgence is okay once in a while, avoid unhealthy habits, such as smoking and drinking too much alcohol. It is said that a little red wine is good for the heart, but there’s a fine line between having a glass with dinner and chugging an entire bottle. Balance and moderation are everything, so balance your time, your energy, and your life. It will help you to live longer.