View from the Trenches: Coaching Over 50s After Layoff
During my recent experiences in coaching those who have recently become unemployed, I’ve encountered individuals from several walks of life and ranges of experience, from a PhD working at a high-tech firm to a middle manager working in a factory, to an employee working at a major bank. They each had their own unique stories and were at different stages in their reaction to recent job loss. They included shock and grief, wanting to change careers, financial concerns and, finally, trying to figure out how to move forward in an economy where high-paying jobs are increasingly being eliminated.
Being out of work comes with other major losses, some of which may be just as difficult to face: a feeling of lack of control over your life, your brand or professional identity, your self-esteem and self-confidence, a daily routine, purposeful activity, friendships and a work-based social network, not to mention you and your family’s sense of security. The mental health impact of job loss is significant; a large body of research shows that unemployment is linked to anxiety, depression and loss of life satisfaction.
I advise my clients to first give themselves time to adjust to their situation. Grieving the loss of your job or career and adjusting to unemployment takes time. It is a process and can take different amounts of time for different people. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take inventory of your situation and, once you have adjusted and accepted the situation, you can begin to move forward.
By taking inventory, I mean that you should assess your personal situation. This may include family and partner priorities, budget and finances, health and diet, your values, your physical and emotional state, your hobbies and passions, your social network, and your spiritual state. If necessary, get help with basic needs such as food and shelter. Local, state or government resources like food banks may be available to help. You should also check to see if you qualify for unemployment insurance (which you should if you were a W2 employee at a company). Unemployment insurance is unlikely to compare to your prior salary, but there are other available governmental options as well if you need additional assistance. Do not be too proud to seek help.
Some of my clients have an easier time with this situation than others. Every case is unique. Most importantly, if you can get to a point of acceptance and not feel stuck or ashamed, you can begin to take steps forward. Remember that most termination decisions are strictly financial due to the nature of the economy or other business decisions; they are not related to your performance. This is not personal, even though it may feel that way. It takes time, so take the time you need to regroup and rebuild your energy and confidence for what’s ahead.
Once you have taken these preliminary steps and have come to accept your current situation, it’s time to focus on getting the help you need and developing emotional and solution-based support and coping strategies. Emotional support strategies might include seeking professional or social support, positive reframing, distraction, or community activities. Solution-based strategies might include your job search activities, retraining, relocation to another region, or just finding ways to adjust to your financial situation. There is no shame in asking for help. If you choose to speak with a therapist, either in person or virtually, it does not mean you are weak or crazy. Suffering loss is difficult and it's reasonable to ask for help. There are several sources available, some covered under insurance, and some accepting payment on a sliding scale, based on your ability to pay. There are also some free services if you have the time and patience to seek those out.
Equally important, I advise my clients to get out and network with friends, colleagues, and family members. Seek organizations that can help you. Again, several of my clients internalize their situation and feel ashamed to take this action. Nothing could be further from the truth. Networking is a great source of support and potential opportunity. So get out there!