Too Good to Be True: Hilarious Job Offers for Older Job Seekers

Whether you are actively job hunting or casually browsing, you may be looking at jobs posted on social media and job boards.   In some instances, you may be intrigued by a posting, so you click a button to see the job description, and you are redirected to another site, where you are asked to enter your email address before you can access the information.  Uh oh!  Beware.  If you are careless (as I was, unfortunately), your email address will be forwarded without your consent to dozens of other job boards or consolidators of jobs from a myriad of other sites.  The next thing you know, you are a spam magnet.  Your email inbox becomes flooded with “job opportunities,” 99% of which will be ridiculous or utterly insulting. 

Your one-time keyword search will often result in unrelated jobs.   For example, if you enter the word “Director,” thinking you will find “Director” level jobs, the opportunities that match your word could be for the Director’s driver, or the maintenance crew member who is responsible for cleaning the Director’s office.  Artificial Intelligence ("AI") has done remarkable things for job seekers, but it also has some flaws (see prior newsletters for more on AI).  The best thing to do when you receive unwanted solicitations is unsubscribe to the job board or identify the sender as spam. When you do receive unwanted email, always hover your cursor over the email address and observe the full domain address of the sender to make sure it is from a legitimate human or corporation before clicking on links.  You may have seen cybersecurity recommendations or warnings in the past, so let’s move on.  If you receive one of those emails, and you just can’t help yourself, it may be time to exercise your creative juices to send a reply.  Here is an example of a real solicitation letter and a not so real (but tempting to send) response.   

The email:

Hello Cathy Candidate, 

My name is [supposed recruiter name] and I'm here to help you find a job. [Company] is hiring a Class A Commercial Driver’s License Truck Driver in Los Angeles, CA 90006 and there might be a fit for you. To see compensation details, as well as job responsibilities and qualifications, please click on the link below. Thanks for your consideration.

Jason Beastley, Recruiter

Your response:

Dear Jason,

I appreciate being considered for the Truck Driver position, but do not feel that my qualifications are suitable.  I currently have a Class C driver’s license, and I have never driven anything larger than a Porsche, so I do not believe I have the skills to maneuver a truck.  When I was getting my MBA from Wharton, there wasn’t any curriculum covering truck driving.  I also did not have truck driving responsibilities as CEO at XYZ Company, or in my prior twenty years working in leadership roles.  My only involvement with trucking was ensuring that contracts were negotiated, and accounts payable met Net/30 day requirements.  

May I suggest that your organization invest in some AI (that’s an acronym for Artificial Intelligence) to match candidates more appropriately with opportunities.  This would likely result in a greater success rate for your organization and perhaps some related variable compensation for you.  It would also result in a higher NPS score from your candidates.  (NPS refers to the Net Promoter Score, which is the person’s likeliness to recommend you).  

Do you have any postings which are more consistent with my background and skills? If so, I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
 

Cathy Candidate

The reality of responding to emails is that your response provides the sender with information about you or, worse, the contents of your computer.  This information could be used for fraudulent purposes.  If you click on the link provided in the email, the destination you go to is likely to be obtaining your email address and who knows what else. 

Bottom line: unsolicited email is junk.  Best deleted.  I confess that, having sent one snarky response to a sender and requesting to be unsubscribed, I no longer receive their solicitations so, in my case, it worked.

Kim